Monday, March 25, 2013


It was a rough month. Sad and listless more often than not, I wondered constantly about the reason for life on Earth. My novel -- my baby! -- was away in the care of someone else.

I've now received my draft of The Seven Noble Knights of Lara back from the editor. I chose her with the greatest of care, and it really paid off! She's given me the most perceptive comments I've received yet and has a well-reasoned, definite answer about my main concern: what to do with the beginning.

She didn't boss me around, but I made a decision based on all the pros and cons she presented, and I couldn't be happier. Sorry, husband, but the prologue you so love is going in the trash. That prologue sets the book off in the wrong direction while committing all kinds of other cardinal sins of writing (see below), so I'm relieved no more people have to read it! I need to rewrite it as Chapter I from the perspective of a main character. It's so eloquently simple, and it resolves the anxiety I was having because I wasn't sure I introduced the title seven knights early enough.

So, with all these new ideas percolating and tons of other responsibilities in the writing/editing arena, I'm going to be glued to a computer for the foreseeable future.

Some of the cardinal sins encountered in the prologue I'm tossing once and for all:
1. Head hopping. I tried for true omniscient, but it was head hopping.
2. The main point of view character gets killed within the first two pages (thus the need for head hopping).
3. It starts off with a bang before orienting the reader and giving her/him a reason to care what happens.

Don't commit these sins in your novel! If you have, stop right now and fix it! You'll do an editor and later readers a tremendous favor.


  1. Where is the line between omniscient narrator and head-hopping?

    1. That is a great question! It's a very fine line, that much I know. It seems true omniscient isn't readily accepted any more, because if the narrator dips into any character's perspective at all, it looks to editors like head hopping. Not easy. Best to just choose a character and do third person limited.

  2. The advice I was given for omniscient was that you can't be selective about whose thoughts you convey, only how much and how deep. Also, that the omniscient POV has to be actively present: remind the reader on every page that you (and now the reader) know more than at least one of the characters being shown, such as "he didn't realize" or "at the same time.." (elsewhere) and other transitions and asides. I head hop but only in very separate scenes or chapters, not in the same scene, before I'm done revising. I've tried omniscient, but can't keep it up..

    1. Yes, I guess the key to omniscient is that it's so distant, and that can create a feeling of coldness that is definitely not in vogue right now. Readers expect to be right there, in the heat of the moment, and that's hard to do without getting close to a character's perspective.

      Great discussion! Thanks for stopping by.